Bearded Theory – Catton Park, 20 – 24 May 2026
BOOTS ‘N’ BLITZKRIEG
The boots I wore to Bearded Theory 2 years ago are still in the garage, still caked in mud and unwearable. It is fair to say the weather was then neither clement nor kind, and the site was a morass of gloop and slide from start to finish. So, clearly, a lousy time was had by all? Not a bit of it, blitz spirit kicking in and the bold vagabonds, who return often on a yearly basis, kept on keeping on, almost regardless. But that, no, no, that couldn’t possibly happen again. Not in England. Not in May. Or that’s what I tell myself, enticed yet again by the cross-genre, cross-cultural cornucopia these fields never fails to find.
WHERE?
Where is it? Smack on the Derby/Staffs border, at the back of the Arboretum, snuck into a loop of the Trent, at Catton Hall, in Catton Park. Turning 20 next year, give or take the plague years, this has been its regular home since 2014, and a good more, hopefully, to come. With a silverware cupboard choc with awards, not only do the faithful punters keep coming back, so to do the gong givers, Line Up of the Year 2024 at the Festival Awards being the last such. But, never content to sit on their laurels, so the range and diversity of stages and provision keeps expanding, without losing any of the intimacy that the regulars demand and expect. And get.
WHAT?
Music wise the number of stages, correct at the time of writing, if possibly expanded by the time it opens, in a few short weeks, is around 8. There is the Pallet, the faithful original, the Pyramid, if you will, where the biggest acts play. Next down is the massive indoor marquee of the Meadow Stage, the next rung of the ladder, so to speak. Audience favourite, the Woodland Area Stage is also present for rootsier fare and action, set in a wooded glade. The Dance Tent changed site and name, to Coda, a year or 3 back, and is now bigger and less likely to bleed sound.
Maui Maui continue to offer their festival in a festival vibe, with their maverick autonomy around who might get invited. This doesn’t forget longtime staples of Bearded Theory, Convoy Cabaret, who, with their tent and around it, maintain a tangible link to the free festival ethos of Spiral Tribe, a home for free-thinking anarchists of all persuasion.
But that isn’t all, as the Something Else Tea Tent has also a constant flow of performers, to be taken with tea, cake and whatsoever can be provided. And, if all these aren’t enough, when al else fails, there is the space around Big Ed, to dance away the hours and any inhibitions. I’ll bet I’ve missed something out. (ED: you have, The Funhouse Comedy stage!)
AND
If music isn’t your bag, apart from wondering why you might be here, there will be talks, film and presentations. For those in need of healing, or topping up, in case, there are Healing Fields. And a Funfair, if it is just random fun that’s required. Heck, you can even go to school! OK, this is only for those who would otherwise, on the Friday, be at school, and it is Offsted approved, meaning that even the most miserable of Head Teachers can’t prevent your kids a day off normal school to attend. Which is pretty cool.
WHO?
All this before revealing who’s playing, too. Does it matter? For many, actually no, as the confidence of those attending blind has yet to be undermined. But it matters to me, writing this piece. Look at the poster above. What grabs your eye? Pixies and Garbage are a pretty exciting top 2 names to note, and it continues in that vein, down through The Damned and last year’s favourite of all the festivals, Ireland’s CMAT. If you don’t like the sounds any of those make, the chances are Skunk Anansie, a BF favourite returnee, Kae Tempest or Fat Dog might scratch your itch. Heck, if you don’t like any of them, watch them anyway, and I bet you will by the end of the set.
MORE
Elsewhere, Ferocious Dog, who arguably first made their name here and are always welcome, make sure the festival is included in their farewell tour. Idlewild and Badly Drawn Boy show they still have a life for live, with Peter Hook & The Light showing no signs of being extinguished anytime yet. The Horrors, Los Bitchos, so the list goes on, all tastes accessed. Yes, all tastes, as, if you search, so too are the Unthanks appearing, and An Danssa Dub. This smattering of names barely touches the sides, without even mentioning Goldie and DJ sets from Bez, Orbital’s Phil Hartnoll and Leeroy Thornhill, from The Prodigy. Plus, it’s a festival, so of course the Barsteward Sons of Val Doonican will be there, as will Beans on Toast, both ATB favourites.
Plenty of room for tents, mobile homes and caravans, with glamping if you must. Plenty of toilets, frequently cleaned, showers, a plethora of food outlets and lashings of bars, with unsilly prices and decent across the board selections of your particular poisons. All this and the promise of good weather (subject to approval.)
NO SLEEP ‘TIL MONDAY
How, I hear you ask, does all that factor into 3 days? Easy, by not. With Thursday offering a taster day for some years, that has now expanded into a Wednesday start for those who can. Don’t worry, you can recover on the bank holiday Monday. ATB will be there from the start. Catch you there?
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